Our wounding becomes sacred as a way to transform completely through, not to be hidden but to be lived. – Richard Rhor

It’s not the wounding but where we get stuck in the process of working through it, or flat out running from it, that’s the problem. Wounding is a part of life. We are hurt in a million different ways, some more cataclysmic than others, but they all offer the same gift of transformation. But for this to happen we have to get to the other side of the hurt, we have to transform completely through. There are no road maps, no lists of what needs to be done. We have to feel our way to the other side and this can be tricky business.

Often it’s when we are most uncomfortable that we undergo the greatest transformation of becoming more of who we are, of seeing deeper, or healing old wounds. There is a certain amount of unbalance, of being shaken up that’s needed to restructure ourselves, our minds, and our way of thinking. But we are taught to run from pain, suffering, and discomfort and believe that if we stuff it down it will somehow disappear. The only way to heal is to work through it. We do this by facing the situation head on, by owning it rather than blaming others, and giving ourselves the kindness, space, and love we need while going through the most painful of times.

Now I’m not saying to run to the pain every chance we get, but we do need to be able to deal with it differently when it shows up. And as with any life event the more consciously we face it the more transformative effect it can have. There will be times when we feel fragile, unsettled, unsure, when the very fabric of our lives is pulling apart. But there is a gift on the other side of this disintegration and instability, and it’s up to us to work through it to find the gifts the chaos of pain brings.

This is the way through to what comes next, and if we suffer the transformation completely we will be completely transformed. On the other side is wholeness, on the other side is wisdom, and yes there is joy there too. To live the highs we have to live through the lows, not just pretend they don’t exist. Both are important, they are each a piece of the whole.

Some of our best moments, the moments when we rally to our own aid, when we care for ourselves the most, or realize what matters most happens during these low times. Here we come face to face with the truth of who we are and how we live. Here we see what fits and what no longer works. And it is here where the choices and changes we make can redirect our lives. That’s the power of the lows. This sacred wounding is a time of profound restructuring.

Let the wound lead to transformative healing.

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