This morning I was talking with my step-daughter over a cup of tea. She’s in the middle of an awakening and has a crystalline clarity about who she is, what she wants, and what she needs to do next. There’s no other joy like watching someone you love reclaim and honor themselves. As she is describing this transformation of awakening she says, you probably know the term, he’s sleeping on me. Of course I didn’t. I went literal and she began explaining that it meant a person, usually a boyfriend or girlfriend, who undervalues and under-appreciates you, who doesn’t see you for your full power and worth. But what she said she discovered was that she’d been sleeping on herself.
Pause for the heavenly chorus of ah-ha! The hallelujah moment. Isn’t this what we all do? We don’t recognize our own value, all that we are and all that we offer. We just push for more, towards an illusive perfection that doesn’t exist. That constant pushing with no pausing keeps us bound up in self-criticism or believing we never give enough or do enough. Everything we do becomes expected, routine, or seen as having very little value when in fact it is a Herculean feat we perform day after day with no thanks, not even from ourselves.
Her words stopped me in my tracks, because of course this is my story too. It’s all our story. On some level we feel whatever we do still isn’t enough. But it’s not the outside stuff that isn’t enough, it’s the inside stuff. Not enough self love, admiration, or pride for the person we already are. The truth is no matter what we do will ever be enough until we give ourselves these inner gifts. We need celebration, of our victories and accomplishments, of who we are in this moment, and everything we’ve done to get ourselves to this point. We are more than what we do, there is more than being swamped by the endless rounds life throws at us. Always another hurdle, another climb, but today is different, it’s time to stop sleeping on ourselves.
I’ve been working with Diana Adamko who she recently posted her self-love challenge and I’d like to share it with you. It’s about recapturing the delight we had as a child about ourselves, when we were impressed with our abilities, however goofy, and wanted to show them off. Do you remember asking your parents to watch a new dance move you invented, or pop a wheelie on your bike, or whatever feat you’d mastered, big or not so big, with relish and abandon? This was a time when we didn’t care what others thought, how we looked, or compared ourselves with what everyone else was doing. It was a time when we explored ourselves for the fun of it and whatever we found there was just right.
Somewhere along the way we lost that inner spontaneity and joy. The self love challenge is about reconnecting with this inner feeling that whatever is happening now is amazing just the way it is, and that we are amazing just the way we are. It’s about lightening up and protecting and nourishing ourselves within any situation we encounter. We only have to take the time to give ourselves the self love that’s always been there and encourage it more often. Life can be busy and overwhelming, but these are exactly the times when we need more self love, not less.
Where we find ourselves right now is an accomplishment to be proud of, and we need to give ourselves credit. So what kind of love do you have for yourself? Where have you been sleeping on yourself? And where can you wake yourself up to more self love about everything you already do and everything you already are? Find the places where you amaze yourself and honor them. Name them. List them. Love yourself in the moment as you are and let that love grow everyday, and don’t let anyone tell you different.
Everybody! It’s time to wake up to the beauty of who we already are and silence the naysayers inside and out.
kb
