Past Mistakes

We only gain merit and psychological development by accepting ourselves as we are, and by being serious enough to live the life we are entrusted with. -Jung

There is a smugness that creeps in with age and experience. A feeling of having already dealt with the big issues and put them to bed. It can feel like we’ve already made every mistake, learned our lessons, and that there’s not much left to throw us for a loop. If I have gained any kind of wisdom through the years it is enough to know that life does not quite work like this. It is a spiral not a straight line. It is coming around again to re-examine, re-evaluate, and re-work, not just checking things off of a to-do list. This is something I am acutely aware of right now because I am faced with a familiar dilemma, it’s the same issue I’ve dealt with many times before.

The details are not as important as the feeling about what we are doing and the level of awareness that surrounds the choices made in the present moment. I’d like to think that both of these have deepened, but that doesn’t make the dilemma disappear. It still remains and it still has it’s old, familiar grip. Perspective and past experience help make the waters easier to navigate when these same issues come around again. We arrive at these junctures everyday, and everyday we have the chance to make a new choice. The caveat is that there are no real right or wrong answers. There are answers that will make us feel better or worse, alive or frozen, more at home with ourselves or a stranger to who we really are. Our answers give or take away from the depth of our experience and the richness of our lives.

How to be clear in the chaos of the day? We need an anchor, an ethic, a clear idea of the person we want to be, so when we are shaken we can come back and touch what’s authentic within us. There are no rules, no tests, no better than or worse than, but there is our personal truth and this is what we are asked to follow if we are to live in harmony with the deeper mystery within ourselves.

We are making choices that move us forward when we steer away from what doesn’t resonate with us or by following the energy that nourishes us. We just have to be brave enough to follow. Life is complicated, the answers will never be easy, but we can begin by following what has meaning for us. Consistently doing this is the surest way to be lead to a life that is constantly evolving into something larger than our imagining. 

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