The woman who is virgin, one-in-herself, does what she does – not because of any desire to please, not to be liked, or to be approved, even by herself; not because of any desire to gain power over another…but because what she does is true.    – Esther Harding

For most of us this is virgin territory. How often can we say we are true to ourselves? More often than not we do what is necessary rather than what is true. Maybe we think it makes life easier, that if we do what is expected everything will go smoother, more according to plan. The problem is that while everything on the outside seems to be going well our insides are dying. How much of the life we really wanted to live has been handed over or given up? How often do we settle for something that approximates happiness instead of pursuing what brings genuine fulfillment?

If we’re honest, we see we’re often driven by someone else’s desires rather than our own. We want to please our spouse, impress the people we work with, or make our children’s lives more comfortable. We do things to further our career or have more say in our community. Very rarely do we do a thing because it resonates with us, makes sense of our lives, or just feels right. We are too busy with our ego agenda, or caught up in what’s expected of us. All of this clouds what’s really important. What we need to ask ourselves is, what would it look like to live our life in a way that honors who we are.

Acting in accord with our deepest desires, and valuing who we truly are, for exactly what we are, is entering virgin territory. Do we even know where we would start? I would imagine right where we are, with just one thing that really matters. Pick one thing that makes sense, that brings joy, that is a genuine reflection of who we are. It’s time to take back a piece of our intrinsic self, instead of simply living in relation to what everyone else is doing. That is the whole trick isn’t it? To stop settling for good enough and be who we are for ourselves. Greater wholeness can’t be bought, it’s created by how true we are to our inner voice. To be a virgin is to be centered in our unique wholeness, a place where we are complete within our self, not looking to someone or something else to validate us or fulfill us. We need to remind ourselves we already are complete, just as we are.

Why is it so difficult to listen to what we really want? Why does everyone else’s life seem to matter so much more than our own? By asking these questions we’re beginning to answer the call to reset and realign with the truth of our innermost self. It’s a process that takes practice, patience, and paying attention. Working at noticing how we feel in relationship to all that’s in our life will lead us to uncover what holds real meaning. We let what inspires us be at the center instead of stuck out on the periphery or buried deep. Then we can begin to be true to who we are in every situation we encounter. We take who we truly are with us wherever we go. That’s virgin territory.

Start listening to what calls from inside. It’s leading you home to yourself.

kb