I was talking to a dear friend who commented that people will do anything for a cookie. I find this funny and sad at the same time. She was on a school board and found that people would donate their time to a project they weren’t interested in if there was free food at the initial meeting. It didn’t even have to be good food. It got me thinking about what I’ve given up, or given into, for free food, a cheap gift, or taking the easy way out. 

I can’t seem to figure out why we are so free and easy with our time and energy. It’s not like we have an indefinite supply. Sure, there are things we all have to do, but how about being a little more picky about the things we choose to do? I think about all the time and energy I expend for the things I accumulate, or all the energy wasted in the endless round of underappreciated doing. The should-do list never ends and some of these treasured possessions I’ve worked so hard for I haven’t even seen in years, they are buried in the back of closets or cabinets, or sitting in storage all boxed up gathering dust. To me it seems like a crappy trade, my time and energy for things, or actions, that end up being thrown away. You see the vicious cycle here? I wonder if it’s possible to consciously pick and choose what I bring into my life on every level?

This is part of what really fascinates me about the tiny house movement, which is so huge right now. I think it speaks to the fact that more and more people are thinking about the quality of their lives, not just the quantity of stuff in their lives. There is a connection, having less brings the freedom to do more of what we love, instead of being bogged down by all the “shoulds” in our life. I know I’m obsessed right now with getting rid of everything I don’t use, and part of that feels like I’m freeing myself from what’s been weighing down my life and hindering my progress. I think part of the reason we say yes to the things we don’t want to do, is to distract ourselves from finding out what has real meaning for us. I know it sounds weird, but it takes a lot of hard work to figure that out, and all that work translates into a lot of uncomfortable changes. 

There is a connection between what I own, or mindlessly do, and how I live my life. Now the question becomes how do we want to fill our lives? Do we want a nicer car, a bigger house, the newest designer bag, or do we want to have experiences that expand us, cultivate deeper relationships, or have more time to pursue what has personal meaning? Our time is going to be spent one way or another, we should at least be conscious of the choices we are making about it’s content.

For me it brings up a lot of questions. What is it we’re looking for but never seem to find? Do we really believe we are not enough if we don’t own enough? What’s the trade off for accumulating more stuff we don’t really have a use for? All of these questions make me think about life choices in a completely different way and reevaluate what makes up a well-lived life. How about completely different ways of living that do not involve a 9 to 5 job, or a house on the hill filled with things unused or unneeded. It opens the possibility of living a truly authentic life inside and out. The only way we can do this is by being clear about what really matters to us. Then we can choose to bring what’s most valuable into our life, not just what our family, community or culture expects of us.

There are all kinds of ways not to sell ourselves short, but it begins by being clear about what has meaning for us on every level. Deep, vital meaning that changes the way we live our lives. There is a difference between the things that contribute to our life and its meaning, and what just creates clutter. That sorting starts by determining what makes us feel alive, inspired, and more of who we really are. If we can start there, the path to filling our lives with what has meaning becomes much easier. We stop giving away our most valuable assets, our time and energy. We stop selling ourselves short.

Remember, you’re worth more than a cookie.

kb