We cannot live in a world that is not our own, in a world that is interpreted for us by others. An interpreted world is not home. Part of the terror is to take back our own listening, to use our own voice, to see our own light. – Hildegard von Bingen
This quote points out why I have been fascinated with Hildegard of Bingen for decades. She was a woman who was true to her vision of herself. I came across her when I was writing a paper for my undergraduate work. She lived in the Rhinehart Valley during the 12th century, and is considered one of the first feminists, an abbess who was incredibly far ahead of her time. She had an amazing knack for following the call of her soul, and acted on what she believed, her personal truth. That included calling out corrupt abbots, composing music her nuns would perform, celebrating the feminine, and healing with baths and herbs.
And she had visions. They began from a very early age, but when she was finally in charge of the female community at the Benedictine monastery at Mount St. Disibode, she began to write them down and share them. Hildegard was plagued by migraines, and it’s believed these were the doorway to the transmission of her visions. These episodes put her in touch with another dimension of reality and allowed her to channel what she saw, heard, and felt. The amazing thing is she honored all of it, and equally amazing was the church honored them as well. She listened to her visions, there were a living guide for her, and she followed where they lead. I find this absolutely astonishing given the times, and the dismissive attitude towards women. Not only did she follow her inner voice, but she absolutely stood up for what she wanted and found a way to get around any obstacles she encountered.
Out of all this what inspires me most is the alignment between what she believed inside and how she acted outside, despite all the obstacles of the time. There was no dichotomy. She just kept moving forward, stood up to her male superiors, followed her own heart, and her own path. How often do any of us follow our own heart, vision, or path? That’s the very trick of it, isn’t it? How do we translate what we really feel, what we really believe to our daily actions? How often do we follow what has the deepest, most important meaning to us, no matter what anyone else thinks? I’m sure she had her set backs, her doubts, but that’s part of the challenges of life. Doubt can plague us all, but she was compelled to construct her life according to her inner voice and visions, and this inspires me to do the same. What we need to find is our deep inner convictions and align ourselves with our personal truth.
This begins by who and what we surround ourselves with. It sets the tone for how we behave, what we act on, appreciate and nurture. Then we cultivate silence. A silence that allows us to listen to what our inner voice has to say. We hold tight to the wisdom of that voice. Then we can weed out all the extraneous noise that doesn’t support who we are, and dive in deep. We have to nurture our own clear voice in order to transcribe it for ourselves and the world around us. Do we volunteer at the soup kitchen, do we coach basketball, do we say no to overloading our life with busywork? How we reveal who we really are can come in a million different guises. We have to decide what we let into our life, to deceifer what heals us and creates wholeness in our lives. When we do that we are in conscious co-creation of the person we really are. We give our authenticity room to breathe and grow.
We don’t have to set the whole world on fire, just our own. Then let it catch.
St. Hildegard is a beautiful example and reminder that no matter where we are, or what we have to work with, we are in just the right place to reveal the light within.
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