When one realizes one is asleep, at that moment one is already half-awake. P. D. Ouspensky

I have always wanted to know why. When I was little this is the question I’d ask hundreds of times a day, much to the dismay of my parents. I think all this wondering what goes on behind the scenes was just preparation for how to live with the mystery. The mystery of all the whys in our lives and the unexpected places they lead us. Perhaps asking why is part of the recipe for putting the mysterious puzzle of life back together. We may never know the answers, but we can try to live the questions.

This wondering why has also led to the feeling of missing out on something big. Like there is some secret knowledge lurking out there but just out of reach. I think I was 50 years old the day I was born. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to be old, but that I wanted to be wise. I wanted to know all the answers before I went on the quest. All the answers to all the whys. That feeling of knowing there was more, but not exactly what that more was, has been a constant companion my entire life. In the end, it’s simply that we need to do the work to get the answers. There’s no way around that. Finally, after all this time of living deeply, weathering all life can throw at me, I am becoming the person I was meant to be, the one I glimpsed so long ago.

To be able to answer our own whys and come closer to understanding the mystery that surrounds us, we have to live thoughtfully. Being as present as possible through all the adversity and joy brings us closer to the mystery that seems to elude us.  The more aware we become, the more connections we make, the more we can touch that mystery. It’s not always a thunderbolt of ah-ha, more often the mystery reveals itself in quiet and subtle ways, which is why it’s so easy to miss. It can be as simple as a shift in the way we deal with anger or adversity, or being overcome by the depth of our love for the people we share our life with. All of these fine threads of feeling and understanding create a more connected way of being, and provide insights that lead to deeper understanding. This is how we make friends with the mystery, by embracing all aspects of our lives thoughtfully and fully.

Our level of our awareness is directly proportionate to understanding the mysteries that seem to remain hidden. When we get caught up in the chaos we miss the small voice whispering from inside the truth of who we are and how we want to live our life. We have to step out of the raging stream onto the silent shore. The mysteries will reveal themselves when we are quiet enough to listen. They aren’t hidden on top of the Himalayas, they’re already locked tight inside of each of us waiting for us to look.

Here’s to being quiet enough to listen to all the secrets that surround you.

kb