“It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.” – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I’ve been thinking about resonance. And noticing when something really resonates with me and when it doesn’t. I think this is true in every aspect of our life, from what we eat, to who we marry. It’s all the little things we resonate with that create the life we love.

I use to think there was no order or meaning to what I pulled into my life because I like so many off the wall things that just don’t seem to go together, like monks chanting and South Park. But they both resonate with me. Everything in my life means something deeper and I take up the nutrients each has to offer and that altogether equals me.

It matters who and what is in our lives. It shapes us, defines us. Which is why it is important to prune the dead branches. Rumi says, “Let the dead leaves drop.” And that is true for anything that doesn’t nourish us.

The trick is seeing clearly what doesn’t work in our lives. We are creatures of habit and get used to things, even unhealthy things. That’s one reason why good friends are so important. They are the first to alert us to a bad situation. Paying attention more can’t hurt either, attuning yourself to how people and situations make you feel. Then you’ll notice if they really belong in your life, or if you are just going along for the ride. 

I just left a miserable job I endured for almost two years with a decidedly unhealthy boss. I knew it was bad. There are certain things I wanted to get from it, but eventually nothing I was getting outweighed the oppression of that job. What surprised me was how bad it was. I knew I was unhappy, but I didn’t realize the extent of that unhappiness until I left. I had created an unhealthy tolerance for the abuse.

Sometimes we just have to leave. Even if it’s scary, even if we don’t know how it will work out. There has to be a point where it’s just not worth it. A time when we value ourselves and our well being more than the external situation and what it provides us. (Usually it is less than what we believe we are receiving.) If it doesn’t resonate with us it’s pulling us away from who we are, what is right for us. We need to stay attuned to what nurtures us.

I hope it never takes you that long to untangle yourself from a bad situation. A situation that takes from your life instead of supplementing it. A situation that makes you feel less than instead of appreciated.

There is always something else. There is always something better for us. It is our job to get what we most need from life. Not just wait to be handed whatever remains.

Here’s to finding all that resonates with you.

kb