A friend and I were talking about someone we both know and wondering why he is always so miserable. He’s the kind of person whose glass is always half empty. No matter what comes up he gripes about it. In my usual big mouth, off the cuff fashion I blurted out that he chooses to live life as a no. No is his go-to answer and that answer shapes and guides the quality and trajectory of his happiness. At times this reciprocal relationship seems completely obvious, at other times it’s not even on our radar. But in the end it’s the way it is for all of us, we are deciding how we live our lives with every response. Are we open and saying yes to life or do we shut down and let no hold us back?
This idea makes me think of my favorite Jim Carey movie, Yes Man. Although it’s impossibly far-fetched it also contains a grain of truth. By saying yes more often we put ourselves on the path of a richer experience of life. No, this does not mean we say yes to all that is asked from us. Oddly enough, saying yes is also about saying crucial and well-placed no’s. Saying more yes is about leaving the door open to seeing greater possibilities of what could be a part of our lives rather than always having a knee-jerk response of no. Leaving an opening to what at first glance we may reject creates an unexpected and unplanned inner expansion. Planting the seed down deep of a yes that heals the soul is the yes we are after, an alchemical third that contains both yes and no.
A yes approach to life is easy to spot. There is more laughter and a feeling of harmony and flexibility rather than stagnancy. It’s a quality of allowing new experiences of life to flow in and reorganize the current life we are living. More yes in our lives allows for creative creation and hope. The goal is living a life rooted in the yes that says yes to more surprise, delight, and joy. And in the end that’s what we’re all looking for, a full and engaged life that cultivates this inexplicable kind of magic. The magic of connection, belonging, and fearlessness that lets life flourish, inside and out. It’s what Jim Carey finds in the movie, an opening to a different kind of life he had flat out rejected before.
When all is said and done how we our lives radiates out and effects the people around us, it shapes who is drawn to us, and what circumstances present themselves. Yes creates a palpable shift in our response to what comes our way and has the power to change the quality of the life we are living.
So I encourage you to say a big fat yes to this life you’re living and be open to the next unexpected adventure on the horizon, big or small.
kb
