I was at a gathering where I met a local shaman. Most people hear the word shaman and think of something otherworldly, untouchable, or out of time and place in the modern world. But really they are wise people who are in closer contact with both inner and outer nature and where those natures intersect. Honestly she looked like a soccer mom which goes to show how little we see of people and the deeper mysteries they hold. She was passionate about the idea that we are all in this life together. Her tag line was everyone gets on the boat. What she means is there’s enough room for all of us, no one is less than or left out, we each matter and we each have a place in the larger scheme of things. Mahayana Buddhism speaks to the same idea. The enlightened ones come back to help others still on the journey and will continue to come back until everyone is enlightened. What’s beautiful about both of these ideas is the inclusiveness, it’s about community and connection, there is no us against them, no one’s better or worse. We’re all in it together and there’s a place for each one of us.

However we do have to claim our place and part of that work requires acceptance, of ourselves, of others, and of our lives the way they currently are. It’s easy to compartmentalize life, thinking some things or people are better or more deserving than others but this creates a false division. We look at the outside world and are crushed by what we see, starving children, suffering families, endless violence, and hopelessness, but we could say we are looking straight into our own soul, at all we don’t acknowledge and all the things we haven’t yet come to grips with about our self. The world is a reflection of what we are and we don’t have to look far to see our own wounds and the outcast elements of our self. There are aspects we deem unworthy, perhaps beyond saving, and other parts we judge and suppress. We see where we starve our self with lack of attention, love, or respect. We treat ourselves badly but somehow expect others will treat us well, or that another will heal all our wounds. But how can others love us if we aren’t willing to love ourselves. How can we treat others with compassion if we can’t even muster it up for ourselves.

If we want to welcome and heal what’s happening in the outer world we will first have to deal with the state of our inner world. There’s room for us on that boat too, but we have to do our own work to get there. We might start by forgiving ourselves. For everything. For all the clumsy mistakes, for not knowing better, for our impatience or lack of empathy, for the wrongs we have done, and for what we didn’t have the courage to do. We can start with the places that are most rough and raw. Beginning where it’s needed most makes room for our inner refugees by giving them a home.

When we can love the dark places within us, the paradoxes, the shortcomings, we stand a better chance at loving the world outside. Forgiving others, having compassion, and deeper understanding all starts from within and lays the foundation for how we participate in the world. There is room enough for us all because we all matter, and the best way to realize this is by letting all the parts and pieces of ourselves matter, even the dark and scary ones. Let’s make more room for ourselves by honoring our less than perfect attributes, by letting go of judgement and pettiness, and welcoming all the ways of being, not just the ones we feel are acceptable. They all contribute and all have their purpose, our job is to own what is truly ours for all that we are, the good and bad.

Greater acceptance heals, and it’s our ticket to get on the boat.

kb