No is a complete sentence. – Anne Lamott
Every single time you say “yes” to something, you are inadvertently saying “no” to something else. Choose wisely. – Kimberly Haydn
Yes is easy. Saying yes immediately solves problems and smooths difficult situations. It can also come in handy when dealing with chaos and upheaval. Yes has the feeling of resolution, and it’s a word I love to say when presented with a challenge. But we can lose ourselves in yes, it can lead us down the path of not knowing who we are or what we want. Saying yes all the time stops us from defining the intricacies of ourselves, from thinking about what’s really best for us, and from creating boundaries. Only saying yes stops us from actively creating a life we love. It’s then that the holy no becomes the word that saves us from our good intentions.
This morning I woke up with the holy no running through my head. Suddenly all the puzzle pieces of why things were becoming so difficult came together and hinged on this one word, no. What I thought was tolerance was really just fear of asking for what I want. The holy no asks us to cultivate greater clarity and draw the line between what we will and will no longer do. The holy no is about nourishing ourselves instead of handing our life over to others. We are protected from overextending and start to listen more closely to what our soul needs. Then comes the deep breath of owning our own life, we are renewed and regenerated, placed at the crossroads between who we have been up to this point and who we will become is born. That’s a holy, life shifting, transformative no.
This kind of no heals us and makes us whole. It gives us the courage to grow into the person we have always wanted to be deep down and suddenly we know exactly what we need to do. The holy no builds up inside until we have enough strength to finally speak our truth. Saying no can be the hardest thing we ever do, but it is absolutely necessary. It’s the funny thing about no, sometimes it shuts us down to possibilities and all that life has to offer and other times it opens us up to living the authentic life we’ve always dreamed. The difference always rests in our approach and the feeling our answer brings. If we feel more like our self or relieved at saying no it’s not selfish, it’s holy.
The holy no brings with it a release, a relief, a blessing, an ah-ha that lets us expand out into the uncharted territory of who we are. A no that shuts us down to life is easy to spot, it has fear surrounding it. So what is it you need to say a holy no to? Overextending, pettiness, a way of being that no longer fits?
Saying a holy no opens the door to what comes next.
kb
