As we move through our lives sometimes we come across very special people who make us feel it’s OK to be exactly who we are. These meetings are rare and beautiful, and when they happen have a particular kind of magic that can’t be found anywhere else. What they pull out of us, intentionally or not, is the person we have been waiting to become. They act like a hothouse does for delicate flowers, they provide us the right climate in which to bloom. Sometimes we marry this person, sometimes they become a life-long friend. We can find them in unexpected places, maybe long after we’ve stopped looking for someone like that at all. It’s a little bit like when the student is ready the teacher will appear. When we are ready for the next step of our personal evolution these unexpected, life-changing catalysts suddenly arrive in our lives in all kinds of guises. The easiest way to spot them is by doing the work of dusting off our authentic self. The more clarity we have about who we really are and what we value, the easier it is to notice them when they do arrive.
Being able to open completely to another is incredibly powerful stuff. It can also have the side effect of knocking us off our feet, disorienting us, and turning our lives upside down. We are unsure of what to make of them or how they make us feel, but suddenly we will do almost anything to be in their presence. It’s intimidating to reveal the truth of our self yet they compel us to do so. Somehow we have to perform the almost impossible balancing act of being brave enough to reveal everything we are and open enough to face what comes of it, whether we get what we think we want and need or not. This is exhilarating and at the same time terrifying. We are so accustomed to having everything settled, figured out, and nailed down, that when all of our preconceptions are blown apart by the person we least suspected could do such a thing, we are shaken. The truth is everything, including us, is always in flux. But if we can risk exposing any degree of the truth of who we are we will experience the magical alchemy of meaningful relationship, in whatever form it’s presented. Feeling and then acting on the spontaneous impulse to be completely authentic around another is nothing short of miraculous. We are given the gift of feeling safe enough to fully unfurl in all our crooked and sometimes craggy ways.
Our own unique wholeness is a very fragile thing, we can endlessly doubt and second guess ourselves, always thinking we are not good enough. It feels much safer to cover up or run from the delicate truth of who we are. But there is no reward in hiding or staying safely closed down. When we find someone who lets us practice at revealing who we are we need to honor it. It’s a sacred meeting of two souls who understand each other on a level that can’t be completely articulated. This is what allows us to welcome the truth of our self in whatever state we find it.
And if we don’t have anyone like that in our lives…remember the answer is always within, start there and the rest will come.
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