And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was greater than the risk it took to bloom. – Anais Nin

I know we all wish it wasn’t so, but there comes a time when our lives fall to pieces. As we go through life we will have moments of sublime connection, deep abiding understanding, and relationships that will open us wide up. Then there inevitably comes the time when everything, and I do mean everything, just falls apart. And it’s scary as hell. There’s no getting around the fact that we are surrounded by constant change, internally and externally. Some times are just more epic than others. Maybe we’ve been comfortable with the way things are, or are under the impression we have everything under control, and along comes life to remind us we’re dead wrong. There is always more to do, know, learn, process, and live. We can be certain our internal shifts will always be followed by an external one.

Falling to pieces can come in a million guises. An illness, a child moves out, a significant other leaves, we move to a new city, get a new job, meet a new person we fall in love with, but usually it’s a seismic shift, positive or negative, that jolts us out of the reverie that everything is smoothly sailing along. All the while change has been stirring underneath our radar until the day comes when we finally notice it and are knocked down. But this being pushed off balance, or thrown into the swamp, is absolutely necessary, it makes way for what is to come. Without a firm push we might never change, it forces us to recreate ourselves and the way we are in the world. I’m going to let you in on a mystical secret about how to accept the offering of our lives falling to pieces: we approach it with a sense of wonder and anticipation instead of dread. If we can face the tough times the same way we do the good times, our lives will be forever changed.

I’m not saying it’s easy. It takes a lot of patience, practice, and inner work to get even close to a glimmer of this feeling, but it is worth it. It’s revelatory, it changes the fabric of who we are and the quality of our lives. Often when everything is shifting around all we can feel is the fear that our world is ending. And in a way it is. The only difference we can make is to consciously embrace the change that is coming. Who we are and the way we lived may no longer be true for us, maybe it’s no longer good enough for us, and what we are becoming hasn’t solidified yet. This puts as at the threshold, that state of in-between that can lead us anywhere, and that can leave us feeling uneasy, perhaps even terrified. That’s normal when our old world is splintering and falling away and we are required to try and navigate the chaos of change into a becoming that’s still unknown. But there is also a joy in it. A joy in creating our lives the way we want them to be. This is where an attitude of wonder and waiting in anticipation of what’s next has everything to do with the quality of our lives in the now. If we can make that shift, even just a little bit, we are closer to the pulse of life and being consciously connected to that deeper rhythm. So don’t try to stop the inevitable collapse. Welcome it as part of the natural cycle of life, and as a herald that something new and life-changing is on the way.

Let’s try to wait in excited expectation of what’s to come.

kb