My husband usually says this to me when we’re arguing about how to get somewhere. I have a terrible sense of direction when it comes to driving. Embarrassing really, almost to the point where you could get the correct directions just by doing the opposite of what I say. The worst part is my deep conviction that I am right, this makes me very convincing about taking the next left. This gets my husband to follow what I say once in awhile, which gets us lost, which is why we always use the GPS.
Sometimes I do the same thing with my life. I fully commit to the idea I had to tackle a certain project on a specific day. Then I’d wake up and feel like doing something completely different. And I’d fight the internal GPS. I would struggle to stay on the track of what I’d randomly decided needed to get done. Of course I’d run into all kinds of obstacles, stores being closed, tons of traffic, and mounting frustration. That’s when I started trusting my inner GPS. If I woke up in the morning planning to read and write in bed but had a wave of energy, I’d just follow it. It didn’t matter if it was my one day to sleep in. When the wave of energy comes, it’s wise to just go with it and do what calls to be done. More often than not I’d get to what I’d originally planned, I just arrived there in an unexpected way. Going with the energy of the day gets me out of hyper-control mode and shows me there are other possibilities. It reorients me to something larger than just what I think I want, and in the end this lets more life in.
The tremendous amount of angst and crabbiness this averts is incredible. Just by flowing with my own internal energy instead of forcing it. (It’s also stopped me from adapting to others schedules, which is another thing that really frustrates me.) Some nights after work I’ll feel like cleaning. Why? I don’t know why. I don’t ask anymore, I just do it. Because in all honesty, who knows when I’ll feel like doing it again. The trick is not fighting it. It’s about catching that wave of energy and riding it out. There’s an old TM saying about meditation that describes it perfectly; we take it as it comes. It’s deceptive, it sounds so easy. But it’s a real art to be mastered. Taking it as it comes is just as applicable in our daily living. It’s about how to be present and clear enough in the moment to respond authentically to what is actually happening, instead of looking through the lens of what we wish was happening.
Forcing ourselves to live a contrived version of the perfect scenario that lives in our head is a lie we tell ourselves. The life we ought to be living isn’t nearly as juicy as the life we are called to live. It may start out on this smaller scale, closer to home with the everyday activities, but learning to follow what has real energy for us is what will lead us out of the forest of doubt and into the light of knowing what’s right for us. When we get used to listening to that, we’ll be steered in our authentic direction when it comes to the larger decisions in our lives. We’ll know the choices we’re making are right because it’ll feel right in our bones. That will lead us to more fulfilling paths. Plus it’s way more fun. In the end it all gets done, even if we don’t force or over plan. There are days that call for hectic running around, just as there are days that call for silence, all we need to do is listen more closely to what’s being asked of us.
Don’t fight your internal GPS. It’ll take you where you need to go.
kb
