It’s very difficult living with the mystery of what may or may not happen. We all want to know how things will turn out, that everything will be OK, which usually means things happen just the way we planned them. When I’m really trying to figure something out, get a definitive answer to the problems surrounding me, my dream analyst will gently hit me with this little gem: we don’t know. Believe me when I tell you these are healing words. These words illicit long, deep breaths. It’s human nature to try to control how things will turn out, we wonder what will happen, how people will react to what we say or do, but the real answer is we don’t know. These have become words I’ve had to live with more and more over the last year, but they have worked magic on me. These words have lifted the weight of perfection from my shoulders, of trying to have all the answers and thinking I can do everything right. These three words are the truth. If we’ll let them, they will set us free from what we think should be and let us enjoy what is, and the mystery of what’s to come.

We can plan, make lists, and do everything to get to the goal we think we want, but will it really happen? We don’t know. It feels liberating doesn’t it? We don’t have to have everything meticulously planned out, step by step. All that is required is doing our best. We keep searching, keep asking questions,  the joyful and difficult questions. Maybe what happens is better than what we’d planned, chances are it will be different than we thought. Letting the unplanned have room in our master plan is the gift we give ourselves that we didn’t know we needed. It’s letting the magic in. Will it bring something better, worse, or completely different?

We don’t know. And it’s easier if we can begin to live with not knowing.

There is the famous story of the Taoist farmer that sums up this not knowing perfectly. He had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbor said sympathetically, “Such bad luck.” “We’ll see, ” was the farmers reply.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it two wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbor said. But all the farmer said was, “We’ll see.”

The following day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbor came over to offer sympathy for the son. “Now he cannot help you with farm, what bad luck.” “We’ll see,” replied the farmer.

The following week military officials came by to enlist able-bodied young men, seeing the young man’s leg was broken they passed him by. The neighbor came by to say what great luck the man had… and I’m sure you know what the farmers’ response was.

That’s because, we don’t know. We don’t know if what life is bringing us is going to be good or bad. It may feel like a disaster and turn out to be miraculous or the other way around. We have to try to live with the mystery of not knowing.

What we can do is bring all of our hopes, dreams, and desires. Then work at it. Events we can’t plan shape our lives. But we can decide how they’ll effect us, we control our response to these uncontrolled events, we shape who we are in the face of them. Our response creates what comes next in our life.

But I can tell you what we do know. We know if what we are doing in the moment rings true or not. Whether it fits us or not. How we feel about what we’re doing is a barometer for how things will unfold in our life. The more we stay true to ourselves, our voice and visions, the more we build towards a future that sustains and enlivens us. We build our tomorrows on our authentic responses to what we are involved in today, in this moment. Does it feed our soul, or does it rob us of joy? This makes it easier to live with all the things we don’t know, can’t know, and will never know.

Embrace this moment and the gifts it brings, the questions we can answer. If we live those fully what we don’t know won’t terrify us as much.

kb