There’s an idea that a correlation exists between anorexia and not taking up too much space. We don’t have to have this disease to feel the crushing weight of thinking we have to look or behave a certain way in order to be accepted. I think this feeling is epidemic, very few of us really inhabit our own body and space because we think we’re not enough. We live our lives in the shadows of who and what we really are. It’s yet another way of not asking for what we need, of withholding what the soul really desires. What we need more of comes straight out of Sex and the City, where Samantha says to Carrie, You’ve got to grab the world by the balls and say, here I am world. And why not? We are here, this is our life, we have to live it the way we want to, and not care about what anyone else thinks. Instead we often end up copying, imitating, or trying to be something we’re not. This is how we lose our way, we downplay our unique qualities and lose the joy of living who we really are. It’s devastating when we feel it’s better to be a copy of someone else rather than our authentic self. What will it take for us to reclaim the right to be who we really are, no apologies? 

The truth is we don’t know what we are capable of until we inhabit our own space, until we really embrace all that we are and live as much of it as we can. It’s important to welcome what’s unknown, explore more of what fascinates us, and find the things that resonate within. There will always be unforeseeable obstacles. There will be deterrents. Will our family and friends approve? Will we still fit into the cultural norms, and be accepted? Will people think we’re crazy? When we start to change it forces those around us to adapt in one way or another to what we’re doing. Becoming who we really are can actually terrify those around us who have no interest in changing who they are. It takes real bravery to be the person we were meant to be. It’s a choice to inhabit our body, our space, what we believe, and our dreams for the future. Not everyone will like our choices. That’s a fact. And we will have to be OK with that. Because if we don’t nurture and support who we really are, who will? It has to start with us.

“…life is an evolving process from beginning to end…many of the changes we have to make in adulthood come just when we think we have life figured out.” – Bud Harris

In all reality we never have it all figured out. But we have to be engaged with the process of becoming. We need to embrace who we really are, the things we love to do, and follow them where they lead us. We may lose some friends along the way, the situations in our lives will shift. There will be times when everything falls apart. This is the nature of life, nothing remains static. What we do with that change or upset, how we handle the tough situations, defines who we are. When we start being who we really are, no faking, no hiding, we are fully present. That is inhabiting our own space. That is owning who we are. There is no one right way to be. We will have the opportunity to change many times over the course of our life. Will we? Will we be brave enough to embrace what calls to us, to listen to what our soul wants? We need to have enough courage to make the changes being asked of us. If we are honest about who we are we will find ourselves right where we need to be. Miraculously, unexpected things will fall into place. That’s the magic of it.

There is freedom in letting go of all the masks and owning what’s true for us. This is our life. We should be present for it, completely own it, stop wishing it looked like something different. There is only one you, and the world needs the person you really are. Let your soul speak the truth of you.

In the end, the truth of who we are is the only thing that can set us free. 

kb