What’s stopping us from living the life we want? Money, talent, schooling, drive, desire, discipline. Are we afraid of failing? Are we afraid of success? Why do we get in our way when it comes to getting what we want? Lately I keep asking myself these questions again and again.

I seem to have a false order. This and that have to be in place before I can move on and do what I really wanted to in the first place. Prerequisites. Procrastination. Or do I feel I don’t deserve to get what I want if I don’t do everything that is expected of me? I can feel myself put on the brakes. I wait and wait. What am I afraid of? What is the invisible hand that holds me back?

The answer is, it’s hard to see around the corner of all that negativity, doubt, and confusion. We get caught up in tearing ourselves down or pulling our lives apart. We have to be able to see farther into the future, beyond the chaos, when life cycles around again to resolution, to deeper understanding.

In order to do this we need to actively create our life on our own creative terms. Anais Nin talks a lot about creating one’s life, not simply lamenting it, but constructing it. We have to do the actual work of building a life that is inherently ours. It won’t just drop into our lap, or come as a gift one year for Christmas. There is an internal battle going on, between what we want and what we will accept. The question we need to answer for ourselves is, are we going to sit on the sidelines of our own life or are we going to go for it? We’re the only ones who can show up in our life and make it what we want.

Nin’s life wasn’t a fairy tale, she faced serious depression, illness and overwhelm. But she made a conscious choice to continue on with her writing, with putting the pieces together, whether anyone noticed or not. She did this by getting up every morning at the same time and working at it. Salvation is in choosing to fully participate in our life no matter what the outcome may be. It turns the desolation into an affirmation. There is power in going forward on your own terms, for your own reasons, for your own joy.

So what stops me? A million different things. What moves me forward is a decision, the choice to continue living my authentic life no matter what anyone else says or thinks about it. Even you dear reader. I ask you, what is the worst that could happen? Even if we fail, get it all wrong, don’t get what we want, at least we are living our real authentic life. That is how the energy, activity, and life force translates into what comes next. Into what’s waiting for us around the corner, beyond all the negativity that holds us back.

In the end there is nothing stopping us, only the nagging voice inside that holds us down. Try living without that voice, live the life that brings you joy.

Here’s to getting out of your own way.

kb