Voice Warrior

I tease my husband because he makes up words. They are close to the real thing but not really the real thing. He’ll say “alloy” instead of aloe or “chimsy” instead of chintzy. But I absolutely love this about him. I love that he has his own vocabulary, his own unique way of being. It inspires me to come up with my own.

The vocabulary we speak tells us a lot about who we really are. What our lives are about. The words we speak over and over are really the descriptors, or tags, that tell other people all about us. What we like, what we hate, our attitude. We become transparent through our chosen vocabulary.

I think of mine not so much in words, but in actions. I tend to be shy and reserved and a pushover, so my new vocabulary is telling people what I love about them, or saying “no” when I really don’t want to do something. I’m really trying to be a voice warrior. I’m trying to have as little discrepancy as possible between what I feel and what I actually do. I’m learning it’s OK to set boundaries, that I don’t have to do everything for everyone  in order to be loved. Why is that so hard to do? These are my things I need to learn.

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” – Carl Jung

That’s like a parent saying do what I say not what I do. It’s hard work correlating the two. What we’re trying to find is the balance.

It’s also incredibly boring trying to fit in all the time. And honestly I’ve never really quite fit in anywhere. Developing a personal vocabulary leads to the authentic truth of ourselves. I like to think developing our own vocabulary is a direct path to those deeper places within that have been overlooked. Those places that define us and shape who we are.

Vocabulary has a profound meaning for our lives, whatever form it takes. Whether it’s a belly dancing class or growing asparagus, all of our chosen vocabulary are sign posts to who we really are. When we venture there we get the gift of becoming more of who we truly are. By speaking or living our true vocabulary we translate the reality of who we are into daily lives.

Although we do these things for ourselves, for our growth, it also enhances the lives of those around us. The happier we are, the happier we make other people. It’s a ripple effect. That’s just the side benefits of being true to yourself.

So what does your new vocabulary look like?

kb