This being human is a guest
house. Every morning
a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and attend them all.
Even if there’s a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty all of its furniture, still,
treat each guest honoralbly.
He may be cleaning you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for who comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Rumi
I trained as a massage therapist many years ago and was recently reminded of one of the best things to do when getting a massage, breathe into the pain. Not the pain that’s actually hurting us, but the kind of pain that holds us prisoner and keeps us stuck. This is the deep, aching, soreness that takes up residence in our body. All the wounds, sorrows and disappointments we collect throughout our lives stay housed in our body if we don’t consciously let them go. It’s the pain of holding onto something for too long. This thought came to me while I was on the massage table getting some major kinks worked out of my neck.
Our muscles hold memories. When there’s been a trauma to any part of the body the muscles that surround the wounded area move in order to protect our injured places. That’s because we compensate to accommodate them, and when we do they shift. The new pattern misaligns our body which leaves us feeling off balance and can create new pain. Massage helps muscles shift back into place. But the same is true for our mental and emotional wounds, we compensate in order to protect our interior injuries. We ignore our feelings and what really matters to us and that keeps us stuck. We don’t move forward because it feels safer to stay where we are.
What occurred to me was that breathing into the pain in order to release it on the massage table is just as valid in real life. We all have a tendency to hold our breath, to hold on to relationships, or ways of dealing with situations that are no longer healthy or necessary. The more stressful the situation, the more holding that goes on. It’s just as important to breathe into and through the pain of our day to day living. From being frustrated in a long line, to trying times at home with family. Holding the breath or the body is like bracing for impact, we’re in fight or flight mode, we’re not really feeling our body or our authentic response to the situation. Acknowledging the discomfort and breathing into what’s really happening in our life is inviting a solution instead of forming a reaction. It heals us instead of freezing us. It lets us be where we are, even if it hurts.
What’s painful only grows if we ignore it. The more we ignore it the more uncomfortable we become, until the time comes when we just can’t take it anymore. This is how the body tells us it needs our attention. It hurts. The same is true for our feelings. When we finally pay attention, and give painful feelings their due, we come to the point where we can choose to let it go instead of hanging on and staying stuck. It’s a tremendously powerful gift. Through being fully present, through mentally, emotionally, and physically breathing into the most painful parts of our lives we allow them to loosen their grip on us. It reminds me of the Harry Potter movie where Harry, Hermione, and Ron are all trapped in these magical roots that are strangling them. The more they fight the tighter the roots grip. When they finally relax they slip right through. It’s just the same with what pains us. We could all use a long, deep breath that allows us to let go of what’s got a grip on us.
So breathe deeply into the most troubled times. It’s just what’s needed to begin disentangling from them.
kb
